Differences between siblings are part of the diversity in the family; here are a few practical tips to help you solve them. Follow them and make enemies become accomplices.
One of the most beautiful gifts God has given me is my sister. I was an only child for ten years, and I always longed to have someone close with whom to share my love, my time and my space. Upon arrival I discovered, along with joy, the responsibility of being the older sister. My mother imagined that everything would be fine between us, why would there be conflicts if we were both women and could share everything, in addition to being accomplices? Mom did not have to wait for many years to pass, the surprises came when she discovered that we are so different, with thoughts and ways of being so different; then, the conflicts arrived, little scandalous but inevitable.
And it is that, as in all families, temperaments, character and diversity of personalities come to light and betray us. In order to be able to carry out a better analysis on the differentiation in your children. In addition, sex, age, number of siblings and the role each one plays in the family influence the emergence of problems between siblings. There is a syndrome of the older brother, the middle brother, the penultimate son, and the younger brother.
As a family mother, you will have already “sharpened your fang”, with living together you have surely learned to distinguish the peculiarities of each of your children: you know what each one likes, what excites him, what makes him sad and angry. And most likely every day you hear: “Mom, my brother is bothering me.” The ideal is to teach the older brother to love the younger one from the beginning, but if that was not your case, and this type of conflictive situation is experienced in a conventional family every day, and, even if we try, we cannot make it our children think, feel and act the same. Conflicts will undoubtedly arise, but the secret is in knowing how to resolve them; Therefore, I encourage you to take into account the following points to avoid those common fights:
1. Comprehensive and broad vision
. You need to learn to distinguish the differences between your children, to know their way of thinking, feeling and acting; your weaknesses and strengths; that you learn to love and understand them as they are. It is also necessary that the reports (both him and his brothers), in this way everyone will accept and value what distinguishes them and a peaceful coexistence based on respect for the different ways of being will be fostered.
2. Turn conflicts into opportunities
Your task as a mother is that every conflict brings good with it. When they fight, take the opportunity to motivate them to speak clearly and listen to each other, that each one tells what made them feel bad and, therefore, to act that way; Encourage them to apologize and shake hands or hug each other after the disagreement is cleared up. I assure you that they will discover something that they did not know and that they will learn to control their emotions.
3. Be fair
Undoubtedly, many conflicts arise because parents sometimes do not listen to the reasons for the conflict, we defend the youngest or vulnerable child, or we only demand that one of the children comply with the rules. Remember that if there are rules at home, everyone, without distinction, must comply with them.
4. Avoid preferences and lead by example
In no way show favoritism towards one of your children, they should all receive the same love. Avoid comparing them with each other (and with other children) and setting them as an example. Everyone is who they are, and you have to be proud of it.
5. Encourage joint activities
Sex and age make a difference, and your children have certain games or activities alone, but to motivate coexistence between siblings it is essential that they seek to share moments together. Your task as a mother is to find points of convergence in the tastes and interests of your children so that they can enjoy each other.
6. Have a private dialogue with each child
Communication is basic in the family, and as a mother you must also give importance to the autonomy and individuality of each one. Talk to your children every night alone, maybe they have something to tell you and they don’t want their brother to know, this will create a kind of complicity; listening to them and keeping the secret will earn you their trust.
7. Establish limits and rules for everyone
“Read the primer” and enforce the rules is your task, complying with them is your obligation. The rules must be the same for everyone, the rewards and punishments must be individual (since our children, ages and needs are different).
8. Always be patient and hopeful
As our children are different, we should not expect the same from everyone, much less when we have embarked on the journey of getting to work. I encourage you to stay positive, ask your husband to participate and your children to do their part. Everything in this life, with perseverance and dedication, is possible.
These actions will help you create an atmosphere of brotherhood in your family. Keep in mind that conflicts will arise, the secret is that you do not allow your children to become enemies, but, on the contrary, that they become accomplices! just like my sister and I did.