The crisis of mature age is caused by many factors, some related to experiences lived during childhood and youth. Read on to find out how to survive it and prevent it from destroying your family.
I have read, lived through my marriage, and even talked to my friends about the so-called “crisis of adulthood.” But what is this? What consequences can it have on the family? And most importantly, do you know how to deal with it?
When I think about this crisis, I remember some events that I have had close to my life, such as when a friend’s husband bought a sports car, or when a friend paid for a whole month in a luxurious Spa, while another of them acquired various jewelry and other luxuries, destroying their family finances. The moment also comes to mind when a close and loving family went through a divorce process, because the husband decided to go with a teenager.
After reading a few things on the subject, I understand that the so-called “midlife crisis” is caused by various factors. Although age is one of them, the interesting thing is to know that childhood and youth experiences also influence it.
In a study carried out in 1999 and published by The Washington Post newspaper , less than 10% of the people investigated had presented psychological crises of middle age, whether due to age or aging. In this sense, other research, such as that carried out by Dr. Lachman, published in the Annual Review of Psychology, in 2004, indicates that having previous psychological problems, during childhood and youth, could be a predisposing factor to present the crisis of the mature age.
How to face the crisis of middle age as a family
These latest contributions lead me to ask myself something that seems extremely important to me: Does this mean that the crisis of middle age occurs due to psychological problems that have their origin in childhood? Or is it just something that happens naturally due to age? Whatever the answer to these questions, then a greater one arises: What to do as a family to face this type of crisis?
After reflecting a bit on this topic, I would like to share some tips that may help you with your inner “boy or girl” as you deal with this midlife crisis:
1. Any past time was no better
It is important to believe in your “self” today, whether you are a man or a woman, despite the things you may have experienced in the past. Now is the time to walk with your family, with your partner and children you will learn to mature. Remember that the decisions of the past cannot be changed and that no matter where you are now, your decisions today will build your future.
2. Don’t obsess over impossible goals
While it is true that there are decisions in adulthood that project a vision for the future, it is important to discuss them with your partner and children. In one way or another, these decisions can affect the family, so if you are thinking about fulfilling a dream of the past, think about it: saving to buy a sports car or an excessive luxury, will it allow you to continue covering the expenses of food for your partner and children?
3. You are in your best professional and personal stage
If your partner is the one who faces this crisis, remember that it is important to recognize their achievements and let them know. Giving a person strength in their beliefs and personal capacities is motivating them so that nothing is ever lacking in their family. A beautiful song by Miguel Bosé comes to mind, saying: «I believe in you, like the eagle on its wings when it flies». Believing in oneself allows us to advance and grow.
4. Put your family first
Sometimes when living as a couple we hear phrases like: “My father never gave me this”, “My mother never took care of such a thing.” Although many of us have gone through difficult and painful situations throughout our lives, it is important to keep in mind that at this time the most important thing is your family and their needs. Keeping this in mind will help you in the moments when you may feel this crisis, which in the worst case can end with your family, which is the most precious.
I hope these words inspire you to reflect on the value of family and, if it is the case, help you to cope with this crisis and avoid a possible separation. Reflect in the company of your partner, this crisis occurs in both men and women and communication will always help you solve it in the company of those you love, and who love you.