Being A Mom Can Be Wonderful… Or Terrible

Discover the secrets to squeeze drop by drop the irregular but full beauty of being a mother.

Discover the secrets to squeeze drop by drop the irregular but full beauty of being a mother.

Sara felt terrible. The first few months after her first baby was born, she was overcome with frustration and disappointment. I’ve wanted to be a mom for so long, and now that I am, I can’t get my son to stop crying! A few months later, sadly resigned, she was trying rather to “survive” motherhood. Everything changed when he accidentally met a mother who had just given birth (her baby was just over a month old) and who looked very different from how she had felt. For this woman, motherhood seemed to flow smoothly, she breastfed her baby with great peace while they talked, and she seemed to have an imperturbable tranquility. Do you want to know the secret of this woman?

It’s all about expectations

The blog Cozybebe.org published a wonderful phrase days ago that is ideal to illustrate this point: “Is motherhood hard? It depends on your expectations. If you have the idea that your baby eats every three hours, stays quiet in the crib and sleeps through the night, then it is harsh. Only dolls behave like this. Personally, when I finished reading the sentence, I couldn’t help but laugh. Who has made us mothers believe that a baby will automatically accommodate our needs?

Reread: 14 Things Every Toddler Wants Their Parents To Understand.

So “it should be”

It must be because of culture, or maybe because of what we see in movies and series about motherhood; Maybe from what you think you see in the mothers you know, I don’t know. The truth is that we have tattooed the “should be”: my daughter must be quiet if I am scolding her, my son must leave the diaper permanently and without accidents, my son must behave better with me than with everyone else (and the list goes on endlessly). And not being able to adjust to these expectations puts pressure on us, limits us and often makes us explode with ourselves, with our husbands or (worse still!) With our children.

Relee: The maternity wards that nobody sees.

Lovingly embrace our life

We forget that we are dealing with people, that moms should say goodbye to the perfect life. This would greatly liberate us, and allow us to embrace the life we ​​have with love. Because what you and I have today has no other way around. Closing your eyes is not going to make reality disappear: you have a crying son, your teenager crossed you off her list of favorite people, your daughter has a terrible temper … Let’s be honest, seeing this and accepting it as it comes is

Reality is beautiful

In your mind your baby would sleep peacefully in his crib, while you and your husband would look at him with Shrek kitten eyes. In reality, your baby watches you sleep from your chest, where she climbs to prevent you from getting out of her bed. And that? I’m sure you’ve noticed by now, the children are leaving very quickly! It seems like yesterday when I suffered from not being able to brush my teeth after my first child was born, and she is about to turn 10!

Enjoy, let’s enjoy: being a mother can still be wonderful if you let go of the terrible and suffocating strings that tie us like puppets and prevent us from moving with the necessary agility and flexibility.

Bend over like a young bush

The author Eline Snel, in her book Quiet and attentive as a frog , says that she suffered a lot with her first child until she decided to double as a young bush: adjust to the events she was experiencing, and accept – in her case – that she had a baby high demand, who cried a lot. So she decided to enjoy what she had: a baby in need, and give him the best she had: her arms and patience. She stopped comparing and wishing for something she did not have, to enjoy and love what was in front of her. That set her free.

RereadResilience: Characteristics of a resilient person

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What do you and I hope to also free ourselves and live the wonders of motherhood? Come on!

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