A woman should never lower her feminine condition to receive the attention or affection of a man. Any woman deserves the best and not be someone’s second or third choice.
I will not question the reasons, motives or situations that led you to become something that does not convince you at all as long as you are close to the man you love deeply. And it is that, due to various circumstances, sometimes, without realizing it, we find ourselves trapped in situations that are not the ones we want but that, in the end, we accept because we think it would be worse to have nothing; however, deep down in our hearts we are not calm, much less happy.
You have surely heard stories about it, or know of a woman who sacrificed her life for a man who never loved her. Some become the best friends, always loyal, willing, trustworthy and respectful of the life that “the love of her life” decides to take; women of this caliber encourage and support him to ask someone who loves him and his joy is her happiness.
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There are others, the most fortunate, who love and are loved and their world is complete; But there are some more good women who, looking for love, find it, but unfortunately in men who can never offer them the fullness of happiness as a couple because they are already engaged or married.
If you are in this last group and your heart and mind fight because you do not know what to do, I invite you to reflect on the following points, perhaps one of them will help you make a decision:
You must progress alone
When you choose to be the “other”, you sign the contract to live in the dark, in the shadows, relegated; therefore, many situations that make you happy must be lived and experienced alone, in secret. You will have time that you should know how to take advantage of, because your time will cease to be yours to make it available to him, to see you or be with you on his own terms.
You will live hiding and hiding it
Hiding from his family, from his children; It is possible that someone of your extreme confidence knows about you, but your security will be subject to their wishes, times and ways of life.
Hiding it because your family may not accept it, condemn what they are doing and reject it. The same, maybe some of your close friends know about him, treat him and receive him, but knowing that he has another family to which he belongs.
There won’t be the family of your dreams
Having children is a very risky option and if they come, friend, education and training will fall one hundred percent on you: you will raise them alone, he will help you on some occasions with time or money, but no more, remember that he already has his children and your own commitments.
Emergencies, school festivals, field trips, the first tooth and thousands of special things you will not be able to share with him. Most of the time you will go to bed alone and at dawn, you will face life for yourself because you know that most married men do not divorce, they do not leave their family for their lover.
This is your new world
A very fragile one, because it will exist as long as the wife does not find out about your existence, because once she discovers your relationship with her husband, her days are numbered. But it will not come to you, it will go to her. She, the wife, is whom society and the family accept and respect, she is the mother of the legitimate children, the economic partner and the heir at her death.
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She can do “dramas” and fight, you can’t. Your job is to love her, to pamper her, to always be willing, available, attentive, keep in the background and under no circumstances disturb her family. If you push her, corner her or insist a little more, she will probably leave you for someone who strengthens her ego and puts her personal interests, her person, her time and her dignity in the background as you once did.
Ask yourself, is it worth it?
Someone very dear to me lived many years as I have related. Some days he was happy and many others very unhappy. Their relationship was nearly twenty years in the dark and one day, when she realized how much she had lost by holding on to someone who didn’t value her enough to give him the most important place in his life, she left him. A few months later a very special man came into her life who loved her with all his heart and offered her a home, a family and a life by her side. I was at her wedding, she looked radiant, the light on her face said it all: she was a full and happy woman. She, like you, was born to have a glorious and bright life, not to be in the dark. Sometimes it’s just a matter of waiting a little longer and not settling for less than the happiness you deserve.