The duration of it must go hand in hand with the efforts that the couple put to love, respect and fight for the relationship.
Love is an uncontrollable force that sometimes leads us to fix our attention, either on a person much younger or much older than ourselves.
In this process, not only physical attraction and emotional aspect play an important role. Personalities enter the game of love, what each one looks for in a potential partner, and also compatibility. That those kinds of relationships with wideage differences last, it is as relative as the events that can lead two people who are only a few months apart to stay together. But this is what science says about it.
The age difference in love and what science says
A study made in the Emory University, In Atlanta, he concluded that the greater the age gap between lovers, the more likely it is that the relationship will not last over time.
To reach this conclusion, the study was applied to 3,000 participating couples and yielded the following results:
1 When the age difference in the couple is 5 years, the chances that the relationship will last is 18%.
2 If the difference between the partners is 10 years, the chances of failure increase to 39%.
3 When the age difference is 20 years, it is 95% possible that the couple will fail.
However, there are hundreds of celebrity marriages that are physical evidence that the exception to the rule exists. To go no further, you can take as an example the marriage between Hugh Jackman and his wife Debora Lee-Furness whose age difference is 13 years. You can also see the marriage of Katherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas whose age difference between them is 25 years.
In love there is no relevance of whether it is the man or the woman who are older than their spouses. In love, things are much more complex and wonderful to reduce them to numbers or genres.
So what is the ideal age difference to “guarantee” the duration of the marriage?
The same study states that for a lasting love relationship, the ideal difference between the parties should be 12 months. They explain that this minimal difference allows for only a 3% chance of marital failure.
What is it that makes love work despite the age difference?
I think we have reached an interesting point. Age is really just a number; What really counts in the love, growth and duration of a couple, -whether the age difference between them is a few months to 2 decades- is the level of commitment and loyalty of each of the parties .
If those who start a life as a couple go ” each on their own”, prioritize their own needs and not those of the couple, and do not cultivate love on a daily basis because they believe that a signature on a paper and a promise on the day is enough of the wedding; So even if they are only a few months apart, things are not going to work.
On the other hand, when there is rapport, understanding and love between the parts that make up a couple, success in the relationship is guaranteed.
In this regard, Hugh Jackman said in an interview where he was asked about his marriage: « She (Deb) is the best thing that has happened to me « … « I believe that in life we should see and be seen by the most important people in our lives. With Deb, from day one, we had it. And 22 years later it’s only deeper . He also added in a post on the social network Twitter: “You and the children are the best gift I have ever had. I love you infinite ».
Lasting in time is not a guarantee of happiness
Societies are full of stories of marriages that lasted 60 and more years of marriage; but were they happy? Some yes and others no.
There are many arguments for staying in a relationship where clearly the parties are not happy. Some of them, and the most widely used are: ” I don’t want to leave my children without a father ” or ” I’m sure he will stop drinking alcohol ” or ” I have faith that he will change “.
One thing clear: a marriage is of two people ; so the fact that a single person is the one who gives, the one who gives in, the one who sacrifices, the one who works to maintain harmony and solve problems, in the end ends up tiring her and leaving her in a kind of lethargy. The worst thing is that – after a while – she ends up caring very little about what happens in her marriage. It is then that the couple begins to live automatically ; they eat, live and even sleep together, but there is nothing between them anymore, just custom. And it is terrible to live that way.
Therefore, it is important to note again: thesuccessful marriage It does not lie in how many years of difference there are between the parties; If there is no commitment and desire to fight for the union, there is nothing.
The final invitation is not to be discouraged. It doesn’t matter what the studies or any experts say; being happy in a marriage goes beyond ages. The duration of it must go hand in hand with the efforts that the couple put to love, respect and fight for the relationship, the rest are just statistics.