Friendships are like family, but if they are toxic, they may be slowly destroying you. 8 unmistakable signs that your friend is rather your enemy.
Since I live in another country, far from my family, friendships are the most important and valuable relationships for me. They are so important that many times one overlooks signs that the person whom we consider our friend is not so friendly. Friendships can be a very positive influence in your life, but they can also be toxic and negative. Read on and find out what kind of friends you have.
We are all very different and even when we relate to people with whom we feel identified and share things in common, what we perceive of other people is not always the right thing to do. When we choose our friends, we choose them because they have the same values, they enjoy the same things, and because we care for them. Friends can be just as important as a family member (in some cases, even more important). So when a friendship ends it can cause serious injuries.
readFriendship is not bought
How to know if your friendship relationship is toxic according to Dr. Sharon Livingston ?
1. Makes you compete with other of her friends
You are in a relationship in which your friend tells you what she does with her other friend, comparing it with what she does with you. She makes comments that make you feel like she doesn’t spend time with you anymore because there are certain things that she can only do with her other friend, or things that her other friend gives her that you cannot.
These kinds of comparisons that urge competition so you can show that you deserve a spot on their friends’ list is not healthy and shouldn’t be.
2. Use hurtful phrases to talk about what bothers him about you
Although telling the truth is a requirement in any relationship, it is not necessary to speak the truth with such brutality, causing injury to the other person. If your friend needs to tell you “the cruel truth” about something that bothers her, she has no need to use insults or fall into telling you things that because she knows you so much she knows will hurt you.
3. You are the one who is always trying to do things with her or the one who always calls her to see how she is
In friendship, as in any relationship, there must be a balance. If you are the person who is always aware of her, who worries about knowing how she is and who changes all the commitments of place to meet her, something is not right. Friendship should be back and forth, never one party should “buy” the other by doing more. This in the long run or in the short, takes its toll.
readThe golden rule in friendship is to always be honest
4. She constantly tells you that you have to change
It is true that one of the duties of friends is to tell us when we are doing something wrong and to help us see the mistakes. Another very different thing is the constant criticism and the demand that you must change. If they were chosen as friends it is because they had things in common and they shared them, there should not be a demand for change, and if there is, then you are with the wrong friend.
5. You feel that everything you have, she wants too
If you go out together and you choose something to buy yourself, she wants it too. She takes things off your hands while looking for clothes or shoes, if you change your hairstyle she does too, but somehow, she wants to look better than you. Everything that you express as a wish she makes it come true, only in her favor. It is fine that they have similar tastes, but this behavior is totally toxic.
6. She always has a negative comment about something new you have or do (even if she buys or does the same later)
This denotes constant competition. He is not the type of friend who is happy when you are happy, but is happy when he gets the same as you or when he manages to have something better than you.
7. You feel like you are constantly walking on glass
You don’t know how things are going to turn out. You always wonder if he got angry, if he will talk to you if you have said the right thing, etc. No friendship should be like this; Friendships are that almost perfect relationship where both parties feel contained, where neither feels obliged to do anything because it is a pleasure to be together and help the other.
read5 recommendations to win many friends
8. Lie to other people in front of you and speak ill of your other friends in you
This is almost like dating a man who left his wife for you. If he was unfaithful once, chances are he’s cheating on you too. If your friend talks badly about other friends, but when she is with them, she treats them as if she loves them, chances are she is doing the same to you.
People who have two faces are generally like that with everyone, you will not be their exception.