The bond that a father generates with his children will determine, to a great extent, the way they relate to others.
The relationship we have with our parents – Mom and Dad – is the first of all. Some theorists argue that this first relationship will determine the way in which we relate to the world.
On this occasion, I will raise you from that idea, and from the traditional idea of the male figure, how a fatherit affects positively in your children’s future relationships. I will focus on how the bond with your children can lay the foundations for your children’s future relationship with your partner, based on these elements:
1 Dad is the impulse.
As we can see, from conception, the impulse that comes towards the ovum so that life begins, is thus related to the father figure with the impulse , according to some authors.
We can see it in the parks when parents encourage their children to dare to play a game that represents a challenge. When parents are present from the game, from the impulse of achievement, children may be more daring to start projects that involve a challenge.
The couple relationship implies that first movement, in the conquest, in the approach to that person who attracts, by daring to go out in a primary instance or to say yes to the project of life as a couple.
It is for this reason that generating a close relationship with dad will help to be able to flow in the impulse that the movement of life implies. What does this mean? When dads take their children on adventures, propelling their children to new experiences, it is then that children can sow the seeds of the flow of courage, to be able to throw themselves into the new. in this sense, throwing oneself into the conquest of the couple and creating a new family.
2 Dad is the force
Generally, man represents strength. Simply in everyday life, if we decide who is best suited to carry heavy furniture, anyone would choose men for the task.
This force is not only applied to the physical subject matter, but to the force that implies the passion for life, for some activity. The force of the daily movement to live. This is the same force that love needs in a relationship.
3 Dad is the order, the structure
Historically, parents were the ones who brought up their children, and it was when they came home that they were held accountable. I am not saying that it is good to reinstate this way of relating to the father, but in general, the male figure represents this structure and order.
When a good relationship between parents and children is sown, it will help to give order and structure to life, to personality, to personal projects, including that of couple and family. Having a new life as a couple implies generating a new order. When we can understand that order and flow into it, starting with the authority that dad implies, we can also creatively implement it when necessary in other contexts.
4 When Dad Tells His Children They Are Beautiful
It has been seen in research that the self-concept of girls is affected by the presence or absence of words of affirmation by the father figure. This seems to indicate that this way in which we perceive whether or not we are beautiful has to do with our father’s appreciation.
So every time parents tell their children that they are beautiful, the likelihood that they will have a better self-perception and a better self-esteem increases.
5 Dad is success
We do not know if by nature, or by the social development of humanity, but the author Erick Fromm suggests that the love of parents for children it’s not dador automatically. Mothers byjust knowing that they are pregnant already love their baby. As they grow in their womb they are already linked with the new being. It is not the same way in the case of the father. Lchildren do things to win daddy’s love.
If this theory is true, children are confirming their ability to achieve by seeing that they can make their parents love them, receive them as their children, and proudly recognize them as such. This ability develops in children the tenacity that is needed to be able to work on building success, and also a relationship with a couple.
6 Dad is the law
I know that we are changing and socially modifying the concept of family in recent years, only that there is still no defined model to adhere to. It is for this reason that I will refer to the practice of the traditional family for more than 2000 years. In this, what the man said was law.
It is in this way that we have the idea -in general- of following parental norms. Therefore, dad’s beliefs will have a great impact on his children, and on his relationship with his partner.
If dad is fair in housework, for example, and raises equity between men and women, it is very likely that the children will take this idea and implement it more easily in their new homes.
On the other hand the law are limits. In general, parents have an easier time setting limits and rules for their children. When children grow up with healthy limits, they can regulate themselves, and they also learn to establish healthy limits in their relationships, including that of a couple.
7 Dad is protection
When parents protect their family, children grow up with a sense of personal security. The topic of mutual protection in the couple is usually a fairly frequent topic of discussion. When children fulfill their need for protection, the probability of demanding this from their partner decreases, since on the one hand they feel protected by their father, and on the other they generate personal security to protect themselves.
8 when dad hugs
There is nothing more children need than hugs. Dad’s hug is different from Mom’s. The feeling is different, and therefore nurtures different aspects. When dad hugs his children, they may feel their need for love and affection being met. It particularly provides protection and security.
When it is not like that, these children grow up, and being an adult and being in a relationship, ends up paying the bills for what he thinks his father owed him. This is a very recurring theme in couple relationships, and it usually generates strong emotions that can lead to breakup.
Hugging your children will generate in them a feeling of being loved, so they will not demand that their partner fill a void that comes from childhood. In addition, they will look for a better type of relationship, since they will not be looking for crumbs of love, but they will look for a relationship that makes them feel just as loved as in the arms of dad.
It is important that (male) fathers can regain the importance of fatherhood in the development of their children. They don’t give the same as mom. Other extremely important things develop with mom. With dad, everything mentioned above is essential for life, and also for the future relationships of the children.
So parents: protect your children, play with them and encourage them to dare by taking care of their safety. Tell your children how beautiful they are in your eyes. Set healthy rules and limits that also provide protection. Review your beliefs, those that you transmit to your children through your family relationships. And above all, hug your children. It is in their arms that they can fill every cell of their body with the strength and momentum that Dad gives.