Speaking without being aware of what you are saying can bring you many inconveniences with your love. Read this article with your partner to better understand each other.
Sometimes, without knowing how or why, you offend the person you love. And is that due to the effect of attitude or even non-verbal language, what is said can be interpreted in an altered way to what you really want to say.
When there are feelings involved, it is sometimes very easy to hurt the one you love. Inadvertently, you can make him feel like you are ignoring, minimizing or denying what he says, feels, thinks, and his needs.
Therefore, a sure goal for a couple should be that they work hard to understand each other. If a couple says they love each other, they should know how to listen to each other, understand each other and not ignore each other.
How do you insult your partner without realizing it?
There are 7 ways in which it is done without even being aware of it.
1 “You’re already acting hysterical again”
That, or “Are you crazy ?!” They are certainly an offense. Anyone is offended if their partner says any of these phrases to them, because they are attributing that they act that way because they “lost their minds” to a rational emotion an irrational attitude.
Basically what you are telling her is that the way she feels at a specific moment is the result of her being out of balance; that if she were mentally healthy, she wouldn’t have to feel that way. This leads the offended person to become defensive, as his pain or discomfort was minimized, as if his emotions were not worth it because he ” is out of his mind .”
Before feeling compelled to accuse him of being crazy, think about what you are going to say, and if you can’t say anything just be silent and pay attention to what he says so that you can put yourself in his place and find a way to solve the problems. problems.
2 “Drop the drama!”
It is similar to saying any of the above phrases or “Calm down!” Again, in a situation where a large number of emotions are dumped, your partner tells you to keep calm as if that would solve things. When you send your partner to calm down, you make him feel like he’s irrational.
Instead you should say, “Wait, what’s wrong, because I can’t understand what you’re saying.” With that you assume responsibility for not understanding him. Do some thinking about making him feel that you understand how he feels and that you are willing to listen to him in order to understand him, in order to find a solution to the situation.
3 “I didn’t mean for you to feel this way”
Your love wants a heartfelt and sincere apology, but if you tell her this then you are simply throwing all the responsibility on her and what she really wants is for you to accept your failure.
You are not exempt from making mistakes in coexistence, so it is best to apologize or ask for forgiveness for whatever you have done. Just say, ” I’m so sorry .” If you are not clear about what you did to hurt him, ask him to be clear with you because you do not know what you did and tell him that you are going to do what you can to remedy what happened.
4 «And I thought that was one of your abilities»
Your partner offers to help you do something that you cannot, but it turns out that it is also difficult for him / her to execute it, so you blurt out the phrase: “ But wasn’t this one of your skills? «This is a great wound to her self-esteem.
Of course, we are not perfect and we do not have to know all of them, everything. Your partner does not need you to highlight their disabilities, but rather support. Yes, it is true that sometimes people are not capable of doing what they thought they could do, but give them the opportunity to try without despair or criticism, and you will see how they achieve what was difficult for them.
5 “It’s just not about you right now!”
When you say this you are acting in a disdainful way. You are downplaying everything your partner said, and you deny it because for you he / she is a selfish person who only thinks about him / her.
Everyone needs to be heard and that there is a response of interest to the demands. It is not difficult for you to listen, and if you feel that your partner monopolizes the conversation, ask him to listen to you in the same way that you do; But avoid that expression so he doesn’t get defensive.
6 “Did you get mad about that ?!”
In a couple’s conversation, everything matters; So avoid downplaying what she said will make your spouse feel more upset or upset. The phrase generates discomfort because it is as if you say that your partner chose what you did or said to have an excuse to “create a problem.”
Instead, let him know that you understand the cause of his anger and that you would like to know what he can do so that it does not bother him in the near future.
7 “Stop complaining!”
They can be a couple with many achievements and a lot of financial comfort; But that does not mean that they are free to have a problem at some point in life.
When you tell your partner that instead of complaining about their problems, they should be grateful; you are taking away your support and understanding. Everyone has the right to be concerned about their problems, to be understood and helped, and they do not need to feel alone in their anguish.
The most childish expression of all, but which many people resort to to cut the intensity of an argument or claim from their partner.
It is as if you are treating him as a fool (because that is what children use it for) but they are adults and it is extremely ridiculous and offensive to apply it in an argument.
If you are really desperate for the claim, ask for time and go for a walk. In another case, breathe deeply and be silent even if it costs you, it is better to do so than to release that expression that will only increase the tension between you.
Many of the marital complications that dent love involve the inability of the spouses to listen to their partners proactively. When you listen to what he says and free yourself from misinterpretations, you will be more willing to take his part and find solutions to conflicts. You are a strong couple, and the problems that one of you has is going to damage the relationship.
Try to listen actively without minimizing importance and putting yourself in their place; Trust me, the relationship will go from good to better.