Is your child a victim of aggression by other children? Know the techniques to teach him how to act.
At least once in their lives, some people (myself included) have been victims of school bullying. As adults, we can heal the aggressions we receive with maturity and time, but what is not allowed is that one of our children suffers some type of aggression by other children, especially when it is almost impossible to care for and protect them 24 hours of the day.
From experience, I can tell you that more than one occasion I attended the direction of my son’s school, to deal with this matter, however, many times I did not receive the expected support, so I had to teach my son to defend himself on his own own.
I share with you: Is your son a grave of silence? Maybe he is a victim of bullying
How to teach your children to defend themselves
As shared in Child Stage and other media, these are the effective tips to achieve it:
1. Have self-control
A study carried out by Save the Children, showed that abusive children seek to provoke in their victims a total lack of control of their emotions, making them cry, feel fear and lose control, in order to embolden and feel powerful.
It is essential to teach your child to maintain control over advances and provocations, so that the aggressor loses interest and stops bothering him. Some recommendations are to breathe deeply and count slowly to 10. Otherwise it will only make the situation worse
2. Body language
Body language is a great tool to show anyone your self-assurance, confidence, and value. If you teach your child some strategies, he can convey a clear and direct message without having to resort to words and blows.
Some strategies are: maintaining eye contact, standing straight, walking calmly and confidently, walking away with determination and respect, setting limits (standing facing the aggressor with the palms of your hands open and saying “enough”, tone of voice firm and strong, among others.
3. Explain how to avoid provocations
What the aggressors seek is to harass and attack the weak. Therefore your child will face hearing many insults, therefore it is important to explain how to avoid provocations, for example: ignore, turn back and walk away.
Avoid letting your child return the insults, as it will exacerbate the problem and it will not be resolved. So that hurtful words do not harm your child’s self-esteem, security and confidence, teach him to throw away aggressive words, for example: If the aggressor says “I don’t like you”, your child can throw those words away and say something positive about him “I like him.” If the bully says “you’re stupid,” your child will say “I’m smart.”
4. Find solutions
Despite the immaturity of the children, they are capable of finding solutions to their conflicts, teach them to propose three different alternatives to avoid responding to the aggressions. You can help yourself with stories where the stories relate conflictive situations, so your child can reflect, ask him how would he solve it?
5. Ask for help from an adult
Your child will feel courage and security when an adult or his friends support him in the face of abusive children. Therefore, it is important to teach him to ask for help in order to resolve the conflict. Remember the phrase “together we will win”, “united we are stronger”, “two heads are better than one.” Explain to your child that asking for help is not something for the weak, but for intelligence.
6. Act how you want to be treated
Sometimes, our children are not cute little angels, as healthy children they do mischief, so it is important, teach your child to act and behave, how he wants to be treated by others. The values that should be taught in these cases are: kindness, respect, tolerance and asking for forgiveness.
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Parents must intervene, informing the school authorities what happened, talk with the teachers and seek support. Remember, your son is very intelligent and capable of resolving his conflicts, do not underestimate him.