Communicating with a teenager is not a simple matter, but with these practical tips, you can do it.
Communication has never been an easy matter to carry between people, much less with children entering the adolescent stage. Many times when trying to converse with them – who have not been so big for a while, but not so young either – everything becomes a monologue that ends in a fight or in a deaf dialogue.
Parents’ complaints are always the same: “my son does not listen to me”, “he ignores me”, “he does not accept my advice”, “I feel overwhelmed”. And on the part of the young people we find the following arguments: «my parents blame me for all my defects», «they don’t let me grow up», «they don’t listen to me», «they don’t understand me», they were young.
What are we doing wrong, then ?, is usually the question of every desperate parent who seeks to maintain a fluid dialogue with their children, but who, despite all efforts, cannot. It is for this reason that I share some tips that may help you find the answer to these questions.
1. Pay attention before facing
Many times as parents we are overwhelmed with the attitudes of our children: entering without saying hello, wearing headphones all the time, lying on the bed doing nothing, are just some of the things that make any adult mad. However, my advice is to pay attention to what is really important. Watching for changes in mood, hidden sadness, your interests and other aspects, are more important than a scream to lower the volume of the music. By this I mean that you are able to read the background and / or reason for the attitude, before correcting it.
2. Respect their privacy
Nobody likes that behind their back they comment on the problems that affect them. If your child has a problem, talk about it as parents, but never discuss it with your friends, much less if it is in a derogatory or mocking tone. You will only be able to isolate it even more.
3. Avoid “fact” sermons
We often find that we are repeating endlessly the same sermons that were given to us when we were young. Avoid him, let him know that you love him but that the things he is doing can damage him and if necessary, congratulate him when he is on the right track; nothing can be entirely wrong at this stage.
4. Clear answers
Do not let your child “have” go out in search of the answers he needs, speak clearly and face, it will save you a good headache in the future. Talk about all topics openly, naturally and without prejudice, respect their times and listen to each of their concerns, who better than you to provide answers with experience?
Many adolescents feel that they are little listened to, remember that times change and although the problems they face may share the same essence, it is better to be receptive.
Above all, never forget that your child at this precise moment suffers from many things, do not allow him to also suffer from receptive, loving parents, always ready to listen and solve problems as a team. I also invite you to read these two articles:
With good communication, improve your relationship with your children! Tips for talking with teenagers without going crazy trying