In life there are limits to everything, and these also apply to mothers-in-law. As much as your mother-in-law thinks she is right, there are 5 decisions in which your mother-in-law cannot take part.
In life there are limits to everything, and these also apply to mothers-in-law. As much as your mother-in-law thinks she is right, and insists that she knows what is best for you and your partner, there are decisions that should NEVER be made solely based on the will of your mother-in-law.
The daughter-in-law-mother-in-law relationship is one of the most complicated relationships when talking about human relationships. Both women love the same man, and they both want him to be happy, but happiness is achieved in different ways depending on the perspective of these two women. In my experience, trying to keep “the party in peace,” as my grandmother used to say, is the best thing you can do.
Don’t kill your mother-in-law yet, read this first
According to experts, there are decisions that must be made by you and your husband, without the influence of what your mother-in-law wants you to do:
1. Choose the name of your children
This is a big NO. Everyone likes to comment on the name of a baby when it is unborn, and that’s fine, many of those suggestions have been used throughout history, but that you decide to call your child a certain way just because that’s how your mother-in-law wants it, it’s a mistake.
This simple, but great decision will accompany you for the rest of your life and will be a reason for resentment. The name of your children is one of the most special things in the world, and carries a deep meaning. Your child’s name will be a part of history forever, and that’s why only parents should choose it (and others can suggest, including your mother-in-law).
2. Choose the place where they will live (the closer to your mother-in-law, the better; according to her)
You have probably heard the saying that “the married man wants a home.” This not only means that married people need a house as a structure, it means that married couples need their independence (especially from parents and in-laws).
Never decide to move to a place your mother-in-law chooses just because she wants it that way. Obviously, if it is the decision of both, and you agree (really agree), there are no problems. But as a general rule, the more alone they are, and the more independence they create, the better it will be.
3. Choose parenting rules for your children
Surely your mother-in-law has experience as a mother, after all, she is the mother of your partner, but that does not mean that you should do what she wants when educating your children. Take their advice gratefully, but it should be you and your husband who decide how you will raise your little ones. If you abide by the decisions of your mother-in-law, you will not give yourself the opportunity to grow as a mother and if your mother-in-law’s parenting method did not work, you will have reasons to constantly argue with your husband and it will not be healthy.
How to deal with your mother-in-law’s insanity
4. Choose faith or creed
Spiritual development is extremely important for every family. It brings you closer as a family and creates much stronger ties. Faith in a family is almost as important as love, and what religion they will practice with their children or what doctrines they will teach them, is something that should only be decided between marriage. You cannot decide to choose the faith of your mother-in-law just because that is her wish.
Remember that you are forming your family, and that your decisions will affect it directly.
5. Choose how to manage the household economy
Maybe when it’s my turn to be a mother-in-law, I’m going to do everything I’ve never wanted for myself (I hope not), but let’s agree that it’s not so difficult to understand why mothers-in-law ‘meddle in our lives’ They went through what we are just beginning and in their own way, they are trying to help. But when making the decisions that have to do with money management in your home, your mother-in-law should not be part of your decisions.
Financial problems are the number one cause of divorce in many parts of the world. It’s already complicated enough that we add more complications to it. The economy of the home, vacations, how and where they spend their money, who contributes and who does not, should be a matter only for both of them.