Sometimes we do many things, but not the important ones so that ours feel truly loved.
Tania gets up half an hour before all her family; She irons, makes breakfast, prepares snacks for school and goes upstairs to wake her little ones. They get off, have breakfast and go on the school bus. Then Tania runs off, along with her husband, to their respective jobs: where she arrives only fifteen minutes before everyone else; so she runs as long as she can to get her food ready on time. After eating, she picks up, makes sure her children do their homework and sends them to play. She considers that all the time she spends washing, cooking, accompanying schoolwork and sweeping, she attends to her children and shows them her love, but her daughter does not see it that way. And the day she realized that for her daughter she was not doing enough as a mother, Tania completely fell apart. She could not conceive how she could do more.
Are you Marta or María?
Do you remember the passage in the Bible of Martha and Mary, the sisters of Lazarus, a very dear friend of Jesus? One day, after the arrival of the Master, Martha had a terrible day, as she went from one place to another trying to attend to her distinguished visitor, and she felt furious with her sister Mary, who was only sitting at the feet of Jesus, listening to it. When Martha asks Jesus to ask her sister to help her, He responds: «Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled with many things. But only one thing is necessary; and Mary has chosen the good part, which will not be taken from her ». (Luke 10: 38-42). And it was so! Who knows what Marta was looking for in her heart with her eagerness and haste, to give a good image? To demonstrate her qualities as a housewife? Adequately honor such a great guest? The truth is that she was not comfortable seeing her sister “without work.” And the loving reproach of Jesus touched her soul.
Who are you and me with our children? Honestly, many times I am Marta: I feel so full of slopes that I give them priority over the bike ride to the park that my daughter cries every day. Don’t we sometimes neglect the most important in our life; those for whom – supposedly – we do everything? Let me share some ideas with you here:
1. Get organized
Sit down and write down what you want for your family: unity, unconditional love, respect, good communication, for example, and reflect on how you have tried to instill them today. Maybe you have made it, or maybe you have survived your day without directly intervening in it. This is the purpose of organizing it: what things take your time? What tasks at home can our children do so that you have more time?
You may be interested in reading: Dividing household chores in marriage
2. Help yourself to remember that you do everything for them
In the areas where the rush to “finish slopes” grabs you, and where you can usually lose the floor, put something that reminds you why you wash, why you want them to learn to resolve their conflicts without blows. It can be a phrase, or a photograph of them, so that when you pass by you always have in mind how much you love them, despite and above all.
3. Look at reality, and accept it
In another article I have commented on Eline Snel’s wonderful book, Calm and attentive as a frog , in which she suggests mothers let ourselves bend according to the circumstances, putting aside the “should be”, what they will say and the comparisons . In short, try to be really where we are and always give the best. It is liberating!
4. Invest in what matters most
They say that if you want good and happy children you should invest twice as much time in them and give them half the money. Let’s do it like this! At the chosen moments of family coexistence, restrict everything that makes you absent: WhatsApp messages, social networks, long phone calls, etc. And avoid what makes your children absent too: mobile devices, video games, tablets or television.
It’s very worth it, I’m sure you want to choose the best part too, right?
Maybe you might be interested: If you want to make your home a little piece of heaven, read this!