David had decided to surprise his wife, Melissa, by coming back from work earlier. He stopped by the florist and bought her a bouquet of her favorite flowers.
David had decided to surprise his wife, Melissa, by coming back from work earlier. He stopped by the florist and bought her a bouquet of her favorite flowers. Melissa was moody and depressed ever since she had decided to quit her job to stay home with her newborn baby. David didn’t know what to do, but was confident that the flowers would cheer her up. He was eager to see the face she would put on when she handed him the bouquet.
When David got to the house, he quietly entered and, without her noticing, stood behind her chair while she worked on the computer. He read what his wife had written and this message deeply shocked and dismayed him. It said, “Dear Greg, I think we are very close. You understand me better than anyone in life. I think I’m falling in love with you. “
As the use and accessibility of the Internet increased, the number of virtual extramarital affairs also increased. For many people, the Internet is a very useful tool in their lives. The way we bank, keep in touch with family and friends, search for things, and even how we entertain ourselves has changed because of the Internet. However, together with the facilities it has given us, this new tool has opened a Pandora’s box of problems, and one of them is infidelity. If you or your partner have found themselves immersed in an online adventure, the hurt and pain of such betrayal seems insurmountable. However, if the situation is approached with forgiveness and understanding, the wound caused to the relationship can be healed in time. The following tips will help you avoid the things that will make the situation worse and that will prevent you from moving forward with your life.
1. Don’t let pain and anger take over you
Forgiving is extremely difficult when you are in this situation, but at the same time it is necessary if you want to continue your marriage. Your partner had an online affair because her emotional needs were not being met. Acting distant and angry will only make things worse and drive your partner further away. If you think that the flame of love has gone out and that you no longer feel anything for your partner, recognize that this “cooling” may be the result of the anger you feel for the situation you are living, instead of being a true loss of love .
2. Don’t walk away from your partner
Lack of closeness was probably part of the original problem, and distancing yourself will make things worse instead of better. If you are the one who had the relationship online, don’t let shame or remorse stop you from rebuilding your relationship with your partner. Talk openly and honestly about the situation. If your partner was the one who had the virtual affair, try to understand the reasons behind their actions and identify what is missing in your relationship.
3. Don’t provoke your partner
Reprimanding and condemning your partner for their actions can make you feel better, but their reasoning will only justify why they had the affair. If you are the one who had the relationship online, don’t expect your partner to forgive you immediately. Be patient and try to understand the pain he or she is feeling. Do your best to reassure your partner that you love her and then prove it to her by meeting her needs.
Translation and adaptation by Alejandra Commaret of Mayra Bitsko’s article 3 mistakes that can ruin your marriage.