Tantrums in children can include kicking, screaming, crying, and whining, all to get our attention but sometimes it’s too much! What do we do to survive tantrums?
Tantrums are very common between the ages of 2 and 3, just when children already understand much of the world around them, including mom and dad, they know what they want but their language is still limited to clearly express how and why of things, therefore, it is easier for them to just cry, yell and kick to get what they want.
Although the tantrum is considered part of children’s development, it is also convenient to say that not all children present them, because by knowing their origin, parents can work in such a way with the limits, discipline and forms of communication with their children that their occurrence and frequency can be minimal or null. It’s all in the way of parenting and the level of parental commitment.
Now, if you already have the problem of the tantrum, friend there are things you can do immediately.
Observe the origin of the tantrum
Maybe you can avoid it, prevent it by preparing your child.
Do not be scared or give in to the tantrum
The tantrum does not mean that you are a bad mother, much less that you should give in or please your child. If you do, he will never stop throwing you tantrums even if he’s 20 years old.
Don’t give a “show”
If you are in a public place, go out or find a slightly more private place where you can educate your child with peace of mind and not under the judgment of the entire public, including your parents.
Talk when the child is calm
When the child is already in the middle of a tantrum, it is necessary that you remain calm and do not try to reason with the child, wait for it to pass and then, when there is peace, teach, educate and set limits.
Technique “of attention distraction”
This technique tries to avoid that one, the child initiates a tantrum and two, that having initiated it, you call his attention to something else to prevent his brain from getting used to reacting immediately with screaming and tantrums.
When your child begins to want to cry, breathe in a shaky way and those things that make our skin crawl, you can do the following:
Invite him to go to another room
Do you want us to go to the bedroom to talk?
2. To go out to the patio
The playground or a pleasant area is a comfortable, intimate place, with many things at hand to explain a principle, set an example and avoid a scene. Use examples from nature.
3. Start singing with other people
A fun, upbeat song that changes the mood.
4. If possible, say that you are going to do something and leave your place, you can invite or leave
The child throws the tantrum with who he knows will work for him, he breaks his scheme.
5. Tell a story
But not just any, a story that exemplifies with foxes, birds or whatever you want, what the child is living. Do you get the idea?
6. Tell a joke
Again, the mood of those around you and the child, mainly, changes.
7. Call the dog or pet
Use whatever is in your power to exemplify, distract, and give important lessons.
8. Make it clear that you are not going to allow tantrums.
At home, before going somewhere, explain calmly and looking into his eyes where they are going to go, what they are going to do, the people they will see and what you expect from him, speak with love, from calm, no with threats.
9. Ask me to express what you want or need in words
Many times, the child throws tantrums because he does not have enough words to express himself. Give them to him! Practice phrases of courtesy and kindness, there are little ones with whom you even have to reach some kind of agreement or “key word” so that when there are many people and he wants to tell you something important, he uses the word and you will attend him with all the seriousness that a deal of this magnitude has.
No one knows your child like you do, so think about the things that might stress him out, the things that he will want, and prepare him to react appropriately, not for you to please in advance, understand?
11. How dads can have a keyword
Parents must also have “the key word” and react appropriately to the “anti-tantrum” operation
12. Use your imagination
Once you know the purpose of the technique, use it to your advantage!
Remember that the important thing about this technique is not to invent things or lie, do not say things that cause fear, it is to distract the mind so that it does not focus on the “storm” that is building in such a way that it does not form a habit.
It is to distract the mind, to give an option to satisfy the need that is behind and to teach the child to ask in the right way for what he needs.
Work on discipline, limits love and the nightmare of the tantrum will be just that: a nightmare.