You know how your children behave in your presence, but how can you make them behave when they are not with you? Here are some unusual ideas that you should consider.
_Original article Posted in Parenting by Rebecca Rickman.
A resourceful father is always looking for ideas to get his children to behave when they are not in his presence. Here are some creative and unconventional ideas you can try. Who knows? Maybe they will work for you.
1. Send subliminal messages
Send your children covert messages so that they do not realize they are receiving them by using a recorder that you will make them listen to while they sleep. Say phrases like, “You are a good boy. You will never rob a bank. Don’t use drugs. You will wait until you get married. Always be a good kid. Also, become rich and famous and remember that I am the reason for your success.
Or, just tell them this while they are awake and attentive. Maybe you can add the phrase “I believe in you.”
2. Whisper them when you speak
When you speak to your children, whisper messages between sentences. For example, the following sentence illustrates this principle with a message in italics. Congratulations on your math test. I think it’s wonderful that you got an excellent grade. Very well done. Would you like to celebrate with your friends after school? ( Stay away from alcohol). »
Or, talk directly to them about things like alcohol and drugs and listen to what they tell you.
3. Add a hug
So are you going to do your homework with Cristina? That good. She is a smart girl. As you hug your child, whisper “no kisses with her” in her ear. Most likely they will give you a look and ask, “Did you say something?” Your answer can, of course, be “Yes, I said I’m going to make paella today.”
Or, look him straight in the eye and let him know how much you trust and expect from him.
4. Take an inventory before you leave your home
“See you later mom.” «See you later, mijo . Remember not to drive at high speed. Do not drink alcohol. Don’t kidnap anyone. Don’t get involved in a gang war. Don’t get a tattoo. Do not smoke. Don’t join an evil cult. Do not inject anything into your veins. Don’t steal any cars. Don’t join a motorcycle gang. Do not sign any contract without reading the fine print. If you’re very smart, the list could go on and on long enough to cut the time you were going out so much that you no longer want to leave.
Or just say, “You know what is right. I trust you”.
5. Fill it with little notes
Placing small notes in their lunch bag, backpack, pants pockets, hats, notebooks, textbooks, and cell phones are effective ways to remind them to behave. Notes throughout the house will also remind them of the same when they get ready to leave. Bathroom and bedroom mirrors, laminate notes in the shower, inside shoes, under the pillow, and anywhere you find them are effective.
Or, leave him sticky notes telling him that you love and trust him.
6. Create a mother network
«Well, Silvia, they are leaving my sector and heading towards the main street. Did you understand Change”. Yes, Julia. I just see them and they go down the main street. Ana, are you there? » “I see them and they are stopping to go to dinner. I’m going to watch them and let you know when they leave. I have the gardener sitting at a nearby table to monitor their conversation. I’ll let you know when they leave. Over and out”.
Or, you can pray for him when he leaves and ask God to take care of him.
7. Create a feeling of remorse
I remember the labor. Oh, they all thought I was going to die, but I said ‘no way. I have to live to take care of this little baby. ‘ Of course, you don’t remember any of that, but I still feel the pain. I knew from the moment I saw your little face that you would never give me a shred of pain that was worse than that horrible, dreadful childbirth. All those nights I spent awake enduring those mysterious fevers that they gave you. I never regretted a moment of all that because I knew that you would never do something to betray my trust in you. All those trips taking you to dance classes, karate classes, and soccer games. Everything has been a pleasure for me. You know how much I sacrifice myself. You would never do anything to hurt me again.
Or, you can let them know what a pleasure it is for you to have them as children and that you would do it all over again without thinking twice.
8. Make mention of your ancestors
Remember your last name and all the wonderful people who have worn it. Never do something that would stain that last name. I have Uncle Arnoldo watching over you and looking after you when you leave. He was a good man and his spirit will always be with you watching every move you make. This last name was always important to him. I know you would never disappoint him by misbehaving.
Or, tell them how pleased you are that they are honoring the last name.
9. Use technology
Purchase a miniature surveillance device and place it along with a hidden microphone to monitor its activities on a monitor. You can buy all of this at your local spy shop or you can purchase it online at www.covered-options-to-spy-to-your-children-who-probably-do-not-have- questionable-behavior.biz ( I hope there is no real site with that name).
Or, when they return, ask if they had fun and what was the most fun they did. Ask them if there was anything they would have done differently.
10. Hire a detective
Go to your local private detective office and hire someone for $2000 a day to follow your children everywhere.
Or, just realize that you’ve done a good job of nurturing and trusting them. Save your surveillance money for your college studies.
While these are wild ideas that some of us have thought about, the truth is that you just need to be a good parent who is interested in their children. Talk to them often, and ask them questions about their life and their feelings. Let them know that they interest you. Then, once you’ve done all you can, trust them and love them unconditionally, clearly understanding that they are going to make mistakes and let them know that you will always be there for them. This method is less expensive and troublesome, but not as fun.
_Translated and adapted by Anders Peterson from the original article « 10 crazy tools for getting your kids to behave when they are not with you » by Rebecca Rickman