Are you in the habit of edifying your husband with words or do you rather destroy him? Review and practice these 10 phrases that every woman should say to her husband.
I have been married for over fourteen years. And I don’t expect you to give me a trophy for it (unless you have a spare one at home), but in today’s culture one more year of marriage is definitely something worth celebrating. My wife Consuelo and I have made more mistakes than successes in these almost fifteen years. But I’m learning new things every year about how to best meet her needs and how to love her even more.
If you will allow me to generalize for a moment, men are not very good at sharing our feelings. We tend to keep them well hidden and do not communicate what we need and want from our wives. We wait for them to read our minds or guess. And when they don’t, we are usually disappointed.
So in an effort to give you an idea of how the male mind works and to help enrich your marriage and continue to improve over the years, I share ten phrases that, in my opinion, every husband should hear from his wife:
1. “The work you do is very important”
Deep down, I work because I want to take care of my family. I want to earn enough to meet their needs, I want to set a good example for my children, and I want to leave a lasting legacy for my family. It is important to me that my wife regularly tells me that the work I am doing is important. Otherwise, sometimes I lose motivation and my work lacks the focus to get it right.
2. “You are an excellent supplier”
I am the only one with a job in my home. But there was a season when it wasn’t. And in both cases, it was and is important that my wife affirm to me that I am a good provider for the family. As I said in the previous point, I work to be able to provide and I need to know not only that the work that I am doing is important, but also that what I am offering is enough in the eyes of my wife.
3. “You are very attractive”
But don’t use the word “hot.” Instead, use words like gorgeous or sexy when you’re together. Men do not communicate this need often, and even women may find this not important to them. Your husband wants to know that he looks good when they go out on dates or when he is getting ready to go to church.
4. “You are a great father”
Don’t just say, “You’re a great dad.” Rather, be very specific and say, “I really enjoyed watching you play with Victoria yesterday,” or, “The lesson you gave Samuel this morning was very effective.”
5. “I can tell when you try to help me”
Acknowledge their (sometimes weak) effort to do the right thing and serve you. Tell him that you realized his noble intention and encourage him. This will lead to repeated efforts in the future.
6. “I support you”
If your husband is dreaming of the future or trying to do something that is outside his comfort zone, and after getting a job promotion: he needs to know that you support him. You must be his star cheerleader in the most important moments of his life.
7. “Thank you”
I don’t think this word can be overused. Men need to feel appreciated… even for fulfilling their responsibilities: taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, fixing a water leak, and so on. But above all, your husband needs you to thank him for the things he does the most. Your gratitude speaks to him like no other voice in his life.
8. “I’m sorry / Sorry”
If you were wrong, apologize. Don’t wait for him to talk to you first. If he’s going through a difficult situation at work, tell him you’re sorry. If you are grieving the death of a family member, tell them you are sorry. If you’ve disappointed him, tell him you’re sorry. These words will heal his heart and cause him to open up to you more often.
9. “Go spend some time with your friends”
Your husband’s friends are important. And they are important for your emotional well-being, but also for your marriage. If he can regularly spend time with friends, it will help him to be more actively present when he is with you.
10. “I love you”
This phrase probably needs no explanation, but your husband needs to know that you love him. Even when she fails as a father or husband, even when she fails you, even when they have disagreements. He has to know that you love him. Your husband needs to hear those two words from you every day. I’m sure your husband could probably add something more specific to this list. In fact, why don’t you ask her tonight?
At the end of the day, it is important that you are edifying your husband and showing him respect. These are the ways he feels most loved and it’s the way you can fill up his love tank in your marriage. Which of these phrases do you say most often to your husband? Which of them is the most difficult to pronounce?
(Translated and adapted into Spanish by Miriam Aguirre from the original English article 10 things every husband needs to hear from his wife by Timothy Parsons. This article was originally published on nataliesnapp.com. It has been published here with his permission.)